Wednesday, 12 July 2023

Knowing When It's Time to Seek New Opportunities: Signs from a Well-Being Perspective

 By Marvel C. Adeyemi

Introduction: Working in a challenging and demanding environment can take a toll on our mental health and overall well-being. While it's common to face difficulties and obstacles in any job, there comes a point when staying in a detrimental work environment becomes detrimental to our own growth and happiness. In this blog post, we will explore several signs from a well-being and mental health perspective that indicate it might be time to move on from your current employment. By recognizing these signs and considering your own needs, you can make informed decisions to create a healthier and more fulfilling professional life.

Sign #1: Hyperarousal and Burnout: One of the first signs that it may be time to move on is when you find yourself constantly experiencing hyperarousal, commonly referred to as burnout. This state of chronic stress and anxiety can manifest in various ways, such as destructive sleep patterns, heightened anxiety levels, and intrusive suicidal thoughts. When your body can no longer withstand the overwhelming stress originating from work, it's a clear indication that it's time for a change.

Sign #2: Incompatibility with Work Culture: Adapting to a new work culture is an essential part of any job transition. However, if you've spent three to six months in a new work environment and still find yourself struggling to adjust or having suicidal thoughts when you think of going to work, these might be signs that the work culture does not align with your values and working style. Disorganized and unstructured environments, such as those labelled as fast-paced or agile work environment, can be challenging for some individuals. Recognize that it's okay if you're not cut out for such environments. Instead, seek out a work culture that better aligns with your nervous system and promotes your well-being.

Sign #3: Uncertainty about Contract Renewal or Unfulfilled Potential: When your future at work becomes uncertain, whether it's due to the possibility of contract non-renewal or lacking a designated seat or office space, and you begin to doubt your potential or feel limited in your current role, it's a clear sign that it may be time to embark on a new path. If you sense that you possess untapped skills, competencies, and valuable insights that are not being fully utilized, it's worth exploring opportunities that allow you to optimize your abilities. Consider venturing into entrepreneurship to unleash your full potential or seeking a challenging role that embraces and rewards your growth and development. Remember, your talents deserve a stage where they can shine.

Sign #4: Conflict between Career and Personal Goals: Your career should ideally align with your personal goals and aspirations. For instance, if you're a mother with a child with additional needs or planning to start a family, taking on a new role during a period of high stress and adjustment might not be the best decision for your well-being. It's important to prioritize your personal life and ensure that your career choices support a balanced and less stressful environment where you can adequately care for yourself and your loved ones.

Sign #5: Escaping the Grip of Workplace Bullying, Discrimination, or Toxic Environments: No one should endure the torment of a toxic work environment or suffer the pain of bullying and discrimination. While challenges can arise in any organization, there are limits to what an individual can endure. If you find yourself trapped in a cycle of workplace bullying or discrimination that starts to take a toll on your mental health, manifesting as panic attacks, disrupted sleep, or haunting nightmares, despite your efforts to address the issue with management, it's high time to consider an exit strategy. Take a proactive approach to plan your departure, starting by evaluating your savings, investments, and seeking collaborative support from your partner or family to develop a well-thought-out exit plan. Remember, you deserve a work environment that aligns with your well-being and preserves your mental equilibrium.

Conclusion: Regularly assessing and evaluating how your career impacts your mental health and well-being is essential. Wholesome counselling offers Mental Health Services for Career transitions. Contact Us to learn more.

Sunday, 25 June 2023

The Power of Boundaries: Creating a Balanced and Fulfilling Life

 By Marvel C. Adeyemi

Title: The Power of Boundaries: Creating a Balanced and Fulfilling Life

Introduction: Today we're going to explore the transformative topic of boundaries. Boundaries are not walls; they are the tools we use to establish a healthy balance in our relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being. So, let's dive right in.

Defining Boundaries: Boundaries are the guidelines and limits we set for ourselves to maintain our emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They serve as a framework to protect our personal space, values, and individuality, while also enabling us to navigate our interactions with others based on mutual respect and understanding.

Types of Boundaries and Examples:

Physical Boundaries: These boundaries relate to our personal space and physical well-being. Setting physical boundaries could involve expressing preferences regarding personal touch or defining how close others can come to us physically.

Emotional Boundaries: Emotional boundaries involve protecting and regulating our emotional well-being. Examples include expressing our feelings and needs clearly, and deciding how much personal information we are comfortable sharing with others.

Intellectual Boundaries: Intellectual boundaries pertain to our thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. Setting intellectual boundaries involves engaging in respectful discussions, being open to diverse perspectives, and setting limits on unproductive or disrespectful debates.

Time Boundaries: Time boundaries require setting limits on how we spend our time and energy. Saying "no" to excessive commitments, prioritizing self-care, and establishing a healthy work-life balance are all examples of time boundaries.

Material Boundaries: Material boundaries relate to our possessions, finances, and personal space. Examples include establishing rules around borrowing or lending items, protecting personal belongings, and setting financial limits and expectations.

Real-life Examples: To illustrate these types of boundaries, consider scenarios like politely asking a friend to respect your personal space when they invade it without consent (physical boundary), expressing to a family member how their hurtful comments impact you and setting expectations for respectful communication (emotional boundary), redirecting a heated and disrespectful debate towards a more constructive tone or choosing to disengage (intellectual boundary), and learning to say "no" to excessive demands to prioritize your well-being (time boundary).

Conclusion: Setting boundaries is an empowering act of self-care and self-respect. By establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, we create space for personal growth, protect our well-being, and cultivate fulfilling relationships. So, let's embrace the power of boundaries on our journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. If you have challenges setting boundaries consider booking a consultation with wholesome counselling. We are here to listen and care.

Monday, 12 June 2023

Embracing Change: When the Future Makes Its Demand

By Marvel C. Adeyemi

Change is an inherent part of life's journey, and it is often the catalyst that propels us toward growth and progress. As we navigate through the twists and turns of our lives, the future inevitably calls upon us to adapt, evolve, and transform.

In this fast-paced world, the future doesn't wait for us to be ready. It presents us with new opportunities, challenges, and demands, urging us to step outside our comfort zones and embrace the unknown. It is during these moments that we discover our true potential and resilience.

"When the future makes a demand on you, change is inevitable." 

This powerful quote reminds us that change is not only unavoidable but also essential for our personal and professional development. It invites us to welcome the unknown, to be open to new experiences, and to embrace the challenges that come our way.

When we courageously embrace change, we unlock doors to endless possibilities. We discover hidden strengths, uncover untapped talents, and create a pathway to success and fulfilment. Change becomes a catalyst for growth, enabling us to reach new heights and transform our lives.

So, the next time the future makes its demand on you, remember that change is not something to fear but an opportunity to seize. Embrace it with an open mind and a brave heart, for within change lies the power to shape your destiny and create a brighter tomorrow.

Speak with a Counsellor if you need help navigating a time of change or transition. We are here to listen and care.

Thursday, 1 June 2023

Nurturing Family Bonds in a New Culture: Lessons from the Joys and Challenges of Immigration


By Marvel C. Adeyemi

Relocating to a new country is often filled with excitement and opportunities for families seeking a better life. Whether it's for economic reasons, escaping conflict, or pursuing education, the journey of immigration brings forth a mix of emotions and challenges. In this blog post, we will explore the joys and hurdles families encounter during the process of acculturation. Through the lens of three insightful books, we will gain valuable lessons on how to manage the impact of migration on family wellbeing and build stronger relationships.

The Excitement and Challenges of Immigration: The decision to move to a new country is often driven by a desire for growth and new experiences. Families leave behind familiar surroundings and embark on a journey to embrace a different culture, education system, and way of life. While the initial excitement is palpable, the process of acculturation can also present unexpected hurdles and strains on family dynamics.

Navigating Role Transitions and Parenting Dynamics: One of the challenges families faces is adjusting to new roles and responsibilities. For instance, a husband who was once the breadwinner may find himself in the position of taking care of the children while his spouse pursues a career opportunity. This shift can sometimes lead to feelings of inadequacy and a need to redefine one's sense of identity within the family unit. Additionally, parenting styles may differ between the country of origin and the new culture, requiring parents to adapt and find common ground to provide the best upbringing for their children.

Cultural Awareness and Parenting Education: Cultural awareness and education play crucial roles in facilitating smoother acculturation for families. Understanding the values, norms, and expectations of the new culture can help bridge gaps and foster open communication. Seeking out parenting resources and education specific to the new culture can empower parents to navigate the challenges more effectively, ensuring the well-being of their children and maintaining a harmonious family dynamic.

Lessons from Insightful Books: "The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri explores the struggles of maintaining a sense of identity and belonging in a new culture. It highlights the importance of open communication and empathy within families to navigate cultural clashes successfully.

In "Little Fires Everywhere" by Celeste Ng, we witness the complexities of cultural assimilation and its impact on family relationships. The book emphasizes the need for acceptance, adaptation, and compromise to prevent family breakdowns.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's "Americanah” serves as a powerful reminder that successful acculturation requires self-reflection, resilience, and a willingness to embrace change. It underscores the importance of open dialogue, understanding, and compromise within families to avoid the potential pitfalls that can lead to family separation or divorce.

Seeking professional help, such as counselling from a multi-cultural family therapist, can be a transformative step in navigating the challenges of immigration and acculturation. A skilled therapist with a deep understanding of cultural nuances can provide invaluable support to you and your family as you navigate the complexities of your new cultural environment.

Conclusion: Immigration offers families exciting opportunities for growth, but it also brings challenges that can strain relationships if not managed effectively. By embracing cultural awareness, seeking support and education, and maintaining open communication, families can navigate the complexities of acculturation with resilience and create a strong foundation for a harmonious future. Let us celebrate the richness of diversity and embrace the journey of acculturation with patience, understanding, and compassion for ourselves and our loved ones.

Tuesday, 16 May 2023

The Hidden Burden: Managing Family Financial Support and Mental Well-being

By Marvel C. Adeyemi

Welcome to today's blog post where we'll explore a unique challenge faced by many migrants and people from culturally diverse backgrounds: the responsibility of financially supporting family members overseas. While supporting loved ones is a noble Endeavor, it can sometimes become burdensome and have implications on mental health. Today, we'll discuss the importance of setting boundaries and share some tips to help you navigate this delicate balance.

In many culturally diverse communities, it is common for individuals to support their families overseas by sending financial resources. While this act of generosity stems from a place of love and obligation, it can have unintended consequences on one's mental health. The pressure to meet both personal financial obligations and family requests can lead to emotional distress, guilt, anxiety, and even strained relationships.

Understanding the Challenge: One significant challenge is the weight of financial responsibility. Meeting personal bills, saving for the future, and supporting family members can often stretch resources thin, leading to additional stress and anxiety. Moreover, some family members may abuse this opportunity, constantly making demands and putting strain on the individual's financial and emotional well-being.

The Impact on Mental Health: The implications on mental health can be profound. Individuals may find themselves shutting down emotionally, blocking family members on their phones, or avoiding conversations about financial support. Feelings of guilt, anxiety, and resentment can arise when they have to say "no" to requests or set boundaries. Additionally, the pressure to work multiple jobs to make ends meet can result in exhaustion and neglect of self-care.

Tips for Managing Financial Support and Self-Care:

  • Assess your financial situation: Start by evaluating your own financial health and setting realistic expectations. Understand your limits and be honest with yourself about what you can afford to contribute.
  • Communicate openly: Engage in honest conversations with your family members overseas about your financial situation. Set clear expectations and boundaries regarding the amount and frequency of support you can provide. Remember, open communication is key to maintaining healthy relationships.
  • Prioritize self-care: Take care of your own well-being by creating a budget that includes self-care expenses. Allocate resources for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it enables you to support others more effectively.
  • Seek professional support: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in cultural issues and can provide guidance on managing the emotional and psychological impact of financial responsibilities. They can help you develop coping strategies, manage guilt and anxiety, and maintain healthy boundaries.
  • Explore alternative forms of support: Research community resources or programs that can provide assistance to your family members overseas. This way, you can share the responsibility and ensure everyone's needs are met without overwhelming yourself financially.

Conclusion: Balancing the financial support of family members overseas with personal responsibilities can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your mental health and well-being. By setting boundaries, communicating openly, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate this unique problem more effectively. Remember, it's not selfish to take care of yourself; it's essential for maintaining a healthy balance and sustaining meaningful relationships with your loved ones.

If you find yourself in need of personalized counselling support, our team at www. is ready to assist you. Book a one-on-one session today and embark on a transformative journey towards holistic well-being. Together, we will navigate the intricacies of family relationships, helping you cultivate lasting happiness and fulfilment.

This information is general in nature and does not take into account your personal financial situation. It is for educational purposes only, and does not constitute formal financial advice. You should always seek personal financial advice that is tailored to your specific needs. 

Knowing When It's Time to Seek New Opportunities: Signs from a Well-Being Perspective

 By Marvel C. Adeyemi Introduction : Working in a challenging and demanding environment can take a toll on our mental health and overall wel...